Today

I would just like to start off by saying today I am thankful to God for my mother in law,Lisa, for giving me a ride today to run some (or rather, many!) errands and watching the babies while I was being seen by the midwife. Also, I'm thankful for the sweet Isbell family for providing Zeke a ride to and from school this week! And to the Seymour family for loaning us their truck while out of town, and more specifically to Crystal for her kind words - and really that goes to Farah, too!
*Trying to always give thanks!*

Today I had a regular female check up @ the OB/GYN who delivered Asher and Macie (and actually the OB who delivered Zeke now works there, but she was at a different practice when I saw her). I'm sure no woman is a fan of these kind of necessary appointments, but for me having it done there, it brings up so many emotions I don't know how to put into words. I love the phone nurse there, and overall all the nurses are pretty nice. And there's about one midwife there that I trust, or did. My feelings about their doctors and doctors in general have drastically changed over time, but mostly since the birth of Macie. Their lack of concern of women and their wishes for themself and their baby, the misleading information, how impersonal it all is makes me sick. Pregnancy and birth is one of the most beautiful experiences in life that I believe should be valued by all considering that's how we all got here. But men (or, humans, rather) have taken it over , with medicine, intervention after intervention, giving mothers misleading information. Not trusting the body that GOD DESIGNED to do what God designed it to do. I've been wanting to write Macie's birth story for sometime now. I'm just trying to get the words right, as I would like to keep my posts on the more upbeat side of things. But I am a passionate person, and I have a strong desire to do what is right. So don't confuse my passion and desire for right with something else.

I thought I could do it. I thought I'd be ok. I scheduled the appointment with that midwife who impressed me so during my pregnancy with Macie. But right away the lies started flowing from her mouth. I felt attacked, I felt fearful. Before even walking into the office I felt my blood pressure climbing, I told my MIL how nervous I was being back here after everything that went down earlier this year. Was this an unwise decision on my part to come back after everything? I was nervous, I couldn't even remember all the questions I had. She was pushing me in conversations that I don't feel comfortable having. That was the same room where everything happened this past February 15th. I looked over at the door at the pregnancy poster. I felt fear of pregnancy, I felt self doubt in myself and my body. I remember feeling that way every time I walked through those doors during my pregnancy with M. And just like old times, I felt a sense of RELIEF as I walked out those doors.

I'm going to be posting Macie's birth story very soon. Followed by Asher and Zeke's

The Uncles!

Yesterday, the kids' uncles (my brothers) came for a visit! Jesse and Josiah, two of my baby brothers, who we hadn't seen in months. It was so nice for the boys! They've missed their uncles a lot, and so have I. Josiah played freeze tag outside with them for a little while, while Jesse and I were inside talking about stuff. I baked them short bread cookies with jam in the middle. Yummy :) It was sooo nice to have some family around! Zeke has been very close to my brothers. Josiah, Jesse and Zeke are actually closer in age than I am to my brothers (or at least Josiah and Zeke are). And being a teen mom, we lived with them for alittle while so they kinda grew up together. Kinda like brothers. I about cried when I saw Josiah 'cause at age 14 he is now about 6'3'' and his features have matured so much since the last time I saw him! I remember when he was just a little baby, now he's all grown up! Macie was shy at first but soon warmed up to her uncles and was all giggles. Jesse is such a hard worker, working TWO jobs and still attending high school. He has the sweetest heart of anyone I know. Oh, and he bought his own car by himself, no help, thank ya very much. These two are going to turn out to be incredible men one day! I love my little brothers, and I'm so proud of who they are!

frustrated

I don't understand some people. Some people really anger me with their lack of concern for others, for their self consumption. I shouldn't get angered by their choice of actions but I do. I don't see how you could let someone struggle go through a hard time without offering help. Especially when they're your co worker. Or friend. Or neighbor. Or family. I may not have a lot of money, I may not have many talents. But my gosh the least I can do is offer an uplighting word, or lend an ear to listen! You KNOW something is going on, and you know exactly what it is, too. You've seen it with your eyes, you've heard it with your ears - in fact, someone called out your name specifically and you choose to turn your head the other way. I hope to NEVER be like that! I want to always help - when and how I can. I wonder if you feel better turning your back and going back to your cozy life?? I mean, why stress? This isn't your reality. But it could be. And if it was, is this the way you would want to be treated?

Our Thanksgiving '11

Thursday November 24th, 2011 Thanksgiving

Perry 25, me 23, Zeke 7, Asher 3, Macie 9 months, and Papa Ross 75 :)

Weather was mid-high 60's. Too warm for my taste for a late November day, but perfect weather for working on a car.

This year we had Thanksgiving at our home, just us. It's due to because of our current situation, but I'm kinda thankful for it causing us to have to stay at home as a family on this holiday. Sometimes things get too hectic in the hustle and bustle of going from here to there.

This was our first turkey we've ever made/cooked, whatever. We weren't very sure with what we were doing. Perry took out all the nasties, and added brown sugar, honey, and something else for flavor. (If this is not "traditional" or the "right way", don't judge, we newbies ;) )

Here's sweet Macie waking up the morning of her first ever Thanksgiving.

My babies, Thanksgiving day, 2011.

Our first ever Thanksgiving on our own, like grown ups! We had turkey, rolls, mac-n-cheese, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and veggies (and homemade chocolate chip cookie cake)! YUM! I am not one for Thanksgiving day food, but I actually ate up this year! It was GOOD! 

Daddy said grace then served the food.

We are SO thankful that Papa Ross (Perry's dad) was able to spend Thanksgiving with us! And I know it meant a lot to my hubby, especially because he wasn't able to see any of his other family.

Macie ate turkey with turkey broth (jar) and some mashed potatoes and a little bit of a roll! 

After our meal, daddy and Papa went back to work on my car. Such hard working men! Ross actually had a cold and completely lost his voice, but he was out there helping my hubby from sun up to sun down without one complaining word leaving his mouth - what a good man!

While the men worked on the car, the kids and I cleaned up the food and kitchen and decided to go burn some calories and go for a walk to visit the Donk-a-honk family (aka, our landlord's donkeys)! I wore Macie, she rode in the Beco (my other love!)!

Us, Thanksgiving, 2011.

 We got very crafty this week of Thanksgiving. Here's a pic of one of our crafts!

Zeke's turkey hand

Asher's turkey hand (looks like it's pooping, lol! SORRY, had to say it!)

Macie's turkey hand! 

The boys and I made this apple pie! Tastes just as good as it looks! Though, we had it a couple days before Thanksgiving, it was still consumed within Thanksgiving week so...it's included in this post!

untitled

It's easy to have a thankful heart when things are going well. It's in the trying times we struggle with having thankfulness. We shouldn't, though, for I am a firm believer that things could always be worse. Therefore, there's always a reason to be thankful!

Momma's with help from the boys

This week we are reminded of that as Thanksgiving fast approaches. It's a bit bitter sweet for my family as we had a bad incident last night. It's easy to dwell on the negatives but together as a family, as a team, we're trying to lift each other up. Things won't be like this forever. Meanwhile, lets focus on some good.

Zeke's

So, the kids and I took to the drive way with our side walk paint. The boys helped me with mine and each did one of their own.

Asher's

No matter the circumstances we face, we must always remember -

Family Night Mission: Generosity

I love my church. Have I ever mentioned that? Well, I absolutely do. I believe that we go to the best church around and for that, I'm thankful! (It's probably the ONLY good thing about the state in which we live!)

We received this top secret folder with instructions. We had to go in the car, and Asher got to give us directions as we discussed times of giving/receiving generosity and how it made us feel.

Then we were instructed to stop at a local store (Wally World, no doubt) and to do something generous and bold for someone.

Walking into Wal Mart, Asher suggested we give money to the Salvation Army.

The boys picked out a box of chocolates and a bottle of water to give to the man standing outside in the cold. It took him back, but I think he appreciated it ;-)

We got back into the car and continued to follow instructions. This time, Zeke got to direct where we went! We ended up making a random phone call to Perry's step sister and we each took turns saying something kind to her!

We then ended up back at Wal Mart where we shopped for our Operation Christmas Child! Afterwards, we read Matthew 25:40: "Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." We discussed what that meant to us. We said a prayer for our OCC and then got to open our TOP SECRET PRIZE from the top secret envelope! The boys got gift cards for free ice cream at Chick-Fil-A!!!

These are the moments...

I wouldn't change having a sleepless night with these bed hogs for anything in the world! =)

Asher and Macie fell asleep holding hands...WOW!

It was just one of those days and I just so happened to pick up a random book and open it to a random page and got this...JUST WHAT I NEEDED AT THE MOMENT.

Sibling affection, help-ful-ness!

Working together on a common goal!

Using our imagination - "it's a time machine!"

Learning team work by experience!

Helping daddy change the oil in mommy's car! Being little-big helpers!

Those cheesing moments that melt mommy's heart!

There's always a reason to smile!

These are the moments that make all of life's struggles worth while.

Silly moments ((:

Enjoying new experiences! (First time in the big girl tub.)

Enjoying creation!

Encouraging words

I was feeling a bit discouraged this morning about our current situation. Well, I came across this verse during my God time and it really spoke to me:

"DO NOT BE ANXIOUS ABOUT ANYTHING, BUT IN EVERY SITUATION, BY PRAYER AND PETITION, WITH THANKSGIVING, PRESENT YOUR REQUESTS TO GOD. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ." Philippians 4:6-7

As I was in the process of typing this, I got a phone call, the one I was waiting on. An answer to prayers. Seriously got a case of the goosebumps right now!

"...Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." Ephesians 5:19-20

To God be the glory!

Cubmobile Race

Zeke had his first Cubmobile race today! I was unable to attend due to Macie being sick but Perry took a lot of pictures for me.

He did very well! His whole den did very well! Zeke is turning into such a brave young man, trying new things, I'm incredibly proud of him!

The name of their Cubmobile is Fire Blazer (could ya tell a bunch of 7 year old boys named it? lol) It won 3rd place Best in Show. Every kid also received a certificate. Very cool :) So proud of my little man and the young man he is turning into!

A trip to the hospital

Today was Macie's first trip to the hospital. Yesterday, she woke up from a cat nap not acting like herself, and sure enough she came down with a low fever that night. We gave her tylenol but she was up almost all night. We got up super early this morning because Zeke had a Cubmobile race with Cub Scouts. Her tempt was 101.9. The plan was to take her to a Childrens Urgent Care but it didn't open til 9am and she was just not breathing right. At all. In fact, I told Perry I thought she had croup or RSV or something. Deep, struggling breathes that went under her ribcage, croupie sounding cough, it was terrible. I was convinced she would be admitted.

I dropped Perry and the boys off at the race and took her to the Childrens Hospital in the city. She was coughing in the car, and it really scared me that she would choke or something so I started praying for her healing. She never did cough again.

At the hospital, we were in and out pretty quick as it had not gotten busy yet. She still had a temp (101). Her ears were clear, oxygen level good, and they did an xray and her chest was clear! (The whole xray-taking-process sucked. She was in tears and I was told to hold her arms above her head, arms pressed against her head, to "squeeze". I hate seeing my kids in any kind of discomfort.) I am so convinced God healed her. I kid you not, she was in bad shape before, but once I sent up that prayer, there was improvement!

She is still a little ... not herself. But she's much better than she was. I give all credit to God and I'm just thankful she's is going to be okay.

His love

Sometimes it's hard for me to imagine God's love. All I know is what I've personally experienced, and what I've personally experienced is very conditional love. It's hard to believe that I can be loved through my bad times, that my sins and mistakes can be forgiven, that someone can find me beautiful in my darkest hour, that someone can see the good in me, that I am simply lovable. This concept blows my mind. I think it's very important for parents to be conscious of how they parent because how we are or how we treat our children affects how they view God. That's part of my struggle sometimes. :-/ But also, I feel so honored and privileged to be given children (and especially the ones I've been given) because I get to raise my children with unconditional love! I get to encourage these little people, build them up, show them mere glimpses of how their heavenly Father loves them. I get to plant seeds in their hearts. And that gives me hope for a bright future, and fills me with purpose and happiness. :-)

This song below makes me cry. I can't even to begin to fathom His love for me, for us. As a parent, I have a little idea, but I believe His love is so much more greater than we know.

"He is jealous for me, loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of the sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize just how beautiful You are
And how great Your affections are for me

Oh, how He loves, yeah, He loves us
Oh, how He loves

And we are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking
And heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way

He loves us
Oh, how He loves, yeah, He loves us
Oh, how He loves us"

Halloween

I LOVED how this year we actually had a theme (for the most part, anyway)! Zeke and Asher were Mario and Luigi! I wanted for sweet Macie to be a lamb but they ran out of her size :( Daddy picked out her lady bug costume and she looked just as gorgeous! We went trick-or-treating with the same group of friends that we've been going with since '09. We also had an additional friend and her family join us! It was much fun! I look forward to future years where all 3 kids can have a theme - who knows, maybe dad and I will even get in on it?! ;-)

The Fair!!!

Wow, I am late posting this! The fair was in town from Oct. 6-16th. We went THREE times this year! But before you think we went out spending a billion bucks on going to the fair, we went all the free days! Yes, two of the times was free admission AND free rides for an hour (the kids were able to ride 6 rides!), and the other time was free admission and we watched the Super Hero show (free) and the alligator catcher show thingie (also free). See how we do? LOL

We had so much fun! Zeke man is old enough to ride the big boy rides and he and daddy had SO much fun! There they are on the pirate ship! I am personally freaked out by that, but Zeke did SO well!

Asher had a lot of fun riding rides too! All by himself, like a big boy!

There's hubby and Zeke on another ride! It's a bigger ride, they go up in the air and keep turning. My stomach churned just watching it but hey, they had fun and created lots of good memories and that's what counts!

Here is Zeke and Asher doing bumper cars! They actually rode several rides together, just don't have enough room to post all those pics! As always, I took A LOT of pictures!

Finally, here's our sweet princess. She passed out! Never fussed or anything, such a sweet girl!