Zeke's Turning 9!!!

My baby turned 9 years old today. Nine. I still can't believe it. Time has flown by...so fast...too fast. I really have got to learn to slow down and enjoy today and all that entails.

 

This morning Zeke woke up between 6-6:30am and opened one present early. Daddy went and bought him breakfast somewhere special. Zeke and I ended up staying home from church as he had a headache and since Perry serves at church, he went ahold and went and took the little ones with him.

 

Zeke had a wonderful birthday party. Aunt Cindy made his soccer cake. Zeke loves, loves, loves some soccer! Papa Dane made him a huge toy chest that he simply adores! Zeke was surrounded by all his closests friends; the Isbells, Seymours, Tallants, Davis', and Otts. My brother, Caleb, even stopped by for a bit. Papa Dane also brought a huge ball thingie that kids can fit inside and run around in. And Zeke cut his cake for the first time, per his request (my big man). The day was filled with laughter, joy, and pure fun!

 

Zeke, my sweet son, you are so loved. You are so adored. You are so special. Never doubt these things.

 

Happy "90th" Birthday! ;)

Proud Mom Moment: Shining Star Award

Zeke was awarded one of five third graders the Shining Star award for the month of February! This morning the school had a special ceremony for all the shining star kiddos; they received free breakfast, a certificate and a free free meal at Chili's! Zeke won something similar to this at his first school way back in kindergarten. His teacher wrote that he is always helping other kids in the classroom and he finishes his work on time. Perry and I are very proud of him! This has been a special month for Zeke; he was the star student one week earlier this month for his class, now this, and his birthday is this month! Way to go, Zeke!

Macie's 2nd Birthday

 

These pictures are all over the place. The first few are from Chantell's house yesterday. She was unable to make Macie's birthday party at my house, so she put together a small one for her after small group. The ladies pitched in and bought Macie a princess canopy bed - Macie girl loves it!

 

Today is Macie's actual birthday. I love when my kids birthdays fall on the weekend! My computer is acting weird so I wasn't able to post as many pictures as I would have liked. Macie is such a social butterfly that she really enjoyed having all her friends there at the same time with her! It was so fun watching her tear through her presents - she was literally throwing wrapping everywhere! Perry's mom had bought her a pair of boots and right then and there she starts taking off her own shoes to put on the boots! And she got a potty training seat to put over the regular toilet, and she wanted to try that out immediately! She cracks me up! I made grain free strawberry short cake cup cakes. THEY WERE SOOOO GOOD! No sugar! Totally healthy; almond flour, raw honey, eggs, baking soda, sea salt, strawberries, lemon juice and zest...sooo good! I tried making the frosting too but that didn't work out so well so Sheree picked up some frosting on her way here! We had Trader Joe's ice cream for the first time and that was yummy too!

 

I love my baby girl so much! It's hard to believe she is 2 now!!! My babies are 8, 4 and 2  --- they're truly growing up too fast!

 

Macie had a great day and was blessed with gifts and the company of those who love her dearly! Thank You Jesus for blessing our family with our dear, sweet Macie!!! Happy birthday, princess!

Jesus saves [insert here]

Not only does Jesus save lives, but He saves families/marriages/hopes/you name the situation. Saving; it's what He does!

I personally have witnessed it and experienced it. This week alone He has saved my heart, my choices. He can make beautiful out of ugly.

I reached my breaking point, so much that I was left speechless. But He saved me. He saved the situation; redeemed it. I don't doubt that all the help from my prayer warriors were part of it. I'm thankful for their faithfulness to seek Him, while I was too distraught to care to react productively.

I write this feeling such a sense of renewal in my heart. Hope, once more, coming alive inside of me. Just that extra bit of strength I needed, I've received.

And onward I shall go. The road is long...parts of it are bumpy...I see some mountains approaching...but I know now I don't face this road alone; He walks with me, beside me, He's been there, before me.

Thank You, Jesus, for saving _________________ ;-)

Happy Valentine's, folks!

More doctor appointments and possible treatment

Monday I had an appointment with my endocrinologist. We discussed the radioactive iodine treatment. She said no contact with my kids for 5 days, side effects are dry mouth, and possible cancer such a leukemia and bone marrow cancer. She recommends this treatment. We went over a bunch of different stuff but honestly, I'm just tired of talking about this.

So they called the hospital to set this up and the hospital called me Tuesday. I'm scheduled to come in on the 27th for blood work to make sure my TSH level is 30+. I've got to be "thyroid hungry". Two weeks prior, I must go on a low iodine diet (which is pretty much Paleo). Say my levels are good, I go back the next morning where I will take the radioactive iodine orally. Then I go home where I cannot be in contact with adults for 3-5 days, and children for 10. Yes, you read that correctly. I cannot see my kids for 10 flipping days.

I am not at peace with this decision. I have an appointment for next Wednesday at doctor's office about 40 minutes away who have all different kinds of doctors on staff, including a naturopath doctor. They also specialize in all things thyroid. I'm hoping to find a natural alternative. And for more involved care. If I just go with this radioactive iodine treatment, I'm sent home, to be kept in a room by myself for almost two weeks. No doctor or nurse supervision. What if something happens? I don't know what to expect - I've never done this before! And the amount of cleaning I must do before my family can return home is just unreal. It would be so much better if I could just stay in a hospital. My endocrinologist also said how the hospital is bad about getting the information back to her, after my body scan a week after the treatment. So what does that mean?! I just don't feel like this route I'm getting good, quality, involved care. And I don't like the side effects associated with this treatment route. I mean, my gosh, it's so possible radiation is what gave me this cancer to begin with - now I'm trading it for another kind??!! I'm not saying I won't go through with this treatment, but I am saying I really want to find out what my options are and hopefully find a better, more natural, less harmful route.

I also came across a cancer hospital that really focuses on the patient as a whole being. They have a naturopathic approach. I've been in touch with them and am supposed to hear back this afternoon. Fingers crossed for some good news.

I am still praying and talking with others, but more importantly will take Perry's opinion into the most consideration. I will update once I hear back from the hospital. Depending how that option goes, I think I will just continue to look for a naturopathic doctor.

God Is STILL Good

Sibling fun on canceled school day.

 

 

Helping cook dinner.

 

Big brother teaching little sis the game of soccer.

 

 Love.

 Daddy-daughter date night.

 Fun times, new experiences.

 Overcoming obstacles.

Childlike fun, as an adult. ;)

 

 Quality time with family-like friends.

 

3 weeks post op and healing nicely.

 

My God is still good at all times...of this I'm convinced.

 

Thyroid Post-Op

Today was my post op appointment with the surgeon. April watched my kiddos and Chantell met me there. So glad she did.

When I had the draining tube removed, the lady had said something about the frozen section being benign, so I really hadn't thought of, let alone worried, about the results today. Maybe that was a God thing...

So, here's the deal. It was thyroid cancer. They took a lymph node, and thankfully that came back negative. But both sides had papillary carcinoma, follicular variant. I believe he said that's a mix of two different types of thyroid cancer.

Now let's look at the God things in this situation. My endo had told me if a nodule is smaller than 2cm, they don't biopsy it. Originally, she measured my nodule as being either 2.6cm or 2.8cm. When the surgeon was in there, turns out it was really 1.8cm. If she had correctly measured the nodule to begin with, it wouldn't have been biopsied, and I would still have that growing inside me. Also, we kept going back and fourth on whether the surgeon should remove my entire thyroid or just the right side with the nodule. I wanted to save what I  could, he recommended taking it all. Ultimately, we did decide to have it all removed. During surgery, they did a frozen section and that is when the left side came back being benign. Turns out, however, that my left side had an ever so small nodule growing (0.3cm) and it too came back as cancer. Wow! If I had agreed to only having the right side removed either, 1 - we would either be sitting here thinking my left side is benign while its growing, or 2 - I would be facing surgery AGAIN! I am grateful for how thoroughly the surgeon was as to take a lympth node as well.

Ok. So, according to the surgeon, the type of thyroid cancer that I had is the aggressive type. From what I understand, because of that, the next step is radiation. (Though, it's called something a little different.) It's few pills I'll take for a couple days and I can't be around the kiddos for 4-5 days. I am supposed to go off all thyroid hormone replacement medicine for 1 month, then do the radiation. This would all happen under the care of my endocrinologist.

So, here is where I struggle. I do not want this treatment. I don't want the risks or side effects associated with it. Yes, I am aware of what could be if I choose not to. I want a natural route, but then I always second guess, fear. I want a doctor who hears me when I speak, who treats me like a person, not a number. As most of you know, I've had terrible experiences with doctors - from regular doctors, to pediatricians and OBs - just bad, bad experiences. I don't trust doctors for the most part. That sounds horrible but its the truth. I feel so unsure of what to do.

The plan: I'm going to continue to research natural alternatives. In the morning, I'll call my endocrinologist and set up an appointment where I will ask many questions. Depending on how that goes, I plan on looking into seeing another endo and getting a second opinion. Of course, I will be seeking God and what He wants me to do. I want to do what He wants me to do.

Though I received so much good news today, and I am so grateful for that, I feel drained and somewhat discouraged at the same time. I feel like there is still a long ways to go, and it's going to be hard and I'm going to be exhausted and I feel incredibly needy. I will need a lot of support around me. And I have all the kids birthdays coming up, so that adds to the stress.

God has carried me through so much already, I know He'll get me through this. I believe I will come out on the other side of this a better and healthier person. I am asking for prayers, please and thank you.