Thyroid Post-Op

Today was my post op appointment with the surgeon. April watched my kiddos and Chantell met me there. So glad she did.

When I had the draining tube removed, the lady had said something about the frozen section being benign, so I really hadn't thought of, let alone worried, about the results today. Maybe that was a God thing...

So, here's the deal. It was thyroid cancer. They took a lymph node, and thankfully that came back negative. But both sides had papillary carcinoma, follicular variant. I believe he said that's a mix of two different types of thyroid cancer.

Now let's look at the God things in this situation. My endo had told me if a nodule is smaller than 2cm, they don't biopsy it. Originally, she measured my nodule as being either 2.6cm or 2.8cm. When the surgeon was in there, turns out it was really 1.8cm. If she had correctly measured the nodule to begin with, it wouldn't have been biopsied, and I would still have that growing inside me. Also, we kept going back and fourth on whether the surgeon should remove my entire thyroid or just the right side with the nodule. I wanted to save what I  could, he recommended taking it all. Ultimately, we did decide to have it all removed. During surgery, they did a frozen section and that is when the left side came back being benign. Turns out, however, that my left side had an ever so small nodule growing (0.3cm) and it too came back as cancer. Wow! If I had agreed to only having the right side removed either, 1 - we would either be sitting here thinking my left side is benign while its growing, or 2 - I would be facing surgery AGAIN! I am grateful for how thoroughly the surgeon was as to take a lympth node as well.

Ok. So, according to the surgeon, the type of thyroid cancer that I had is the aggressive type. From what I understand, because of that, the next step is radiation. (Though, it's called something a little different.) It's few pills I'll take for a couple days and I can't be around the kiddos for 4-5 days. I am supposed to go off all thyroid hormone replacement medicine for 1 month, then do the radiation. This would all happen under the care of my endocrinologist.

So, here is where I struggle. I do not want this treatment. I don't want the risks or side effects associated with it. Yes, I am aware of what could be if I choose not to. I want a natural route, but then I always second guess, fear. I want a doctor who hears me when I speak, who treats me like a person, not a number. As most of you know, I've had terrible experiences with doctors - from regular doctors, to pediatricians and OBs - just bad, bad experiences. I don't trust doctors for the most part. That sounds horrible but its the truth. I feel so unsure of what to do.

The plan: I'm going to continue to research natural alternatives. In the morning, I'll call my endocrinologist and set up an appointment where I will ask many questions. Depending on how that goes, I plan on looking into seeing another endo and getting a second opinion. Of course, I will be seeking God and what He wants me to do. I want to do what He wants me to do.

Though I received so much good news today, and I am so grateful for that, I feel drained and somewhat discouraged at the same time. I feel like there is still a long ways to go, and it's going to be hard and I'm going to be exhausted and I feel incredibly needy. I will need a lot of support around me. And I have all the kids birthdays coming up, so that adds to the stress.

God has carried me through so much already, I know He'll get me through this. I believe I will come out on the other side of this a better and healthier person. I am asking for prayers, please and thank you.