The Night Before...

I want to record these feelings so I can refer back to them if ever I doubt.

Tomorrow morning is surgery. It has been a longggg time coming. The actual surgery has had 3 different dates - but now it's here. It's finally, actually here. Woa!

I am overcome with calm...with a peace I only wish I could explain. And when I think about the actual event that is about to take place, I smile. Smile! That is not a normal reaction for me. To smile or feel calm. No, my friends, this is a God thing.

Today I've been blessed with a mixture of phone calls, emails, and text messages from friends saying they love me, thinking about me, praying for me. It all started this morning - or really before bed last night. God has been sending me reassurances throughout the day. Not overwhelmingly, but slowly, one here, one there, and so on. It's spread out evenly. It makes me feel loved...cared for...like I'm not going through this alone.

Friday at my ladies community group (I say small group), my apparent fears and worries became apparent to them. And can you believe, they did not make me feel like my feelings were invalid. I can't even give word for word what was said, but it was so reassuring, so comforting, so God - speaking - through - them. I walked away feeling good, and have been feeling so ever since.

Tomorrow as I go in for surgery, I will not be alone. I will have my husband and small group. And of course, my God will be with me. I will be surrounded.

I feel so undeserving of the compassion and support. I've never experienced something like this before. I have had two different friends tell me today how people in their churches are praying for me. I know people in my own church are praying for me as well. I feel so blessed to be covered in prayers, in people's thoughts!

My boys don't seem worried or bothered about the days to come. This brings me so much comfort. I am sensitive in regards to my childrens feelings. And if normally I'd be OK in a certain situation, knowing they're not, will make me not. So, the fact that they don't seem phased, is a blessing! God is protecting my children from fear and worry!!! Thank You, Jesus!!!

Macie has been especially clingy. But I am so confident that she will be just fine because between the two friends who will be watching my kids, she loves them and their kids so much, that I think she will become so preoccupied, she won't even give me a second thought.

I believe in the power of prayer. I've witnessed its power. I am so covered in prayer right now, I can't help but feel everything is going to be ok. Everyone is going to be ok. It's not just about me, but my family, and they're covered too.

A little over a year ago I found this verse, and it became mine. I think it means more to me now than it did then.

I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. - Psalm 16:8

Amen and Amen!!