The Thing About 2015

As this year is coming to an end, there are things I want to leave in this year. I need 2016 to be a year of incredible positive change. 

December 2014, I left an abusive marriage. I had to. It got to the point of survivals sake. 2015 it became official. In this year alone, I have grown and changed and have learned so many new things. I have experienced intimacy with God once again...I credit God with so much. Provider, protector, He has loved on me and the kids like no one else has. This year the kids and I got our own place, I started exercising, I went back to college and starting working for the first time in 5 years. In the midst of tragedy, so much good took place.

And now as I'm dealing with feelings and relationships, I have come to realize, why wait?! I can and I need to LOVE myself. Take care of myself. "Date" myself. This will help build confidence and self-worth, something my life has lacked.

For 5 months this year I attended the gym regularly, five days a week. I stopped once work and school started. I hope to join again and make that part of my weekly routine. May not be able to commit to as much as before, but something is better than nothing. I want to focus on health as a whole, diet and supplements and essential oils. I'd like to get a few months supply up of supplements at a time, so that I can be off and stay off of HRT and seek natural route for dealing with the POF/POI. I believe remission is possible. I'm choosing to believe that's where I'm headed. I've also started counseling for healing of the mental/emotional. I will continue to seek God and place my trust in Him alone. He is my all in all.

As I type these things, I know the enemy will try to distract or discourage me. I know now that when I try to do good, he will try to do whatever to ruin plans. This is why clinging to Christ is all the more important.

"With man, this is impossible, but not with God; 

all things are possible with God."

- Jesus, Mark 10:27

From Lysa TerKeurst:

If Satan is tempting you to question God’s plan and His goodness tonight, pray these words out loud:

Dear Lord, I know that You are good. And You are good at being God. I’m so thankful that You know what I need and what I don’t—even when I don’t understand. I’m choosing to trust You in the midst of uncertainty and look for Your hand in every situation. Help me see Your "yes,” “no” and “later” answers as Your certain protection and guidance for me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.