About 8 years ago, in 2007 (it was the end of March, I believe) I heard something said at church that I knew was meant for me. And when it was said, it was like everyone else had disappeared and it was just me and God. And I had goosebumps and I cried. I tried so hard not to cry, but I was unsuccessful; a woman sitting in front of me even asked me if I was OK! Kind of embarrassing, but I was overcome - that was one of the few times I have heard God speak directly to me. The words were spoken by Jeff Henderson, and it had to do with forgiveness.
Today I had a similar experience. Sometimes if I have the extra 40 minutes at the gym, I'll ride the bike and listen to an Andy Stanley sermon. (The bike is the only piece of workout equipment I can seem to handle without upbeat music. ;) ) "Doubt not" is what he spoke on and he briefly touched on a subject similar to my current situation. And yes, for a moment I had to reexamine my situation and my personal choice, and I felt peace and I had to remind myself that the circumstances surrounding my situation is different than theirs. Sometimes I wish I could get others to understand this - I feel like people don't really understand why things are this way, and why they have to be. Shortly after, he said something, "if you are in a ..." and there it was - MY SITUATION. And the words that followed were exactly something I had struggled with for so long. And the goosebumps returned, and it was just me and God, and peace overwhelmed my soul. And I know that He loves me still, and that He will see me and my family through this.
People around me may still not get it, they may completely disagree - and though I shouldn't let it bother me, it kind of does bother me. But today my God, my Father, my Savior spoke to me, and He and I are good. And He knows the circumstances surrounding this situation, He understands the struggle. He is with me and He is for me. He loves me and He forgives me, and that's all I really need.
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