Spontaneous Trip to Mount Rushmore Memorial

Saturday January 25th, 2014

Our small town, North Dakota.

This place is really growing on me.

Heading out early in the morning.

Beautiful sunrise.

I love these frozen lakes!

Still in North Dakota.

Welcome to South Dakota!

Felt like there should've been cowboys and indians riding around on horses!

At a restroom stop.

Yay, we made it!

I love this walk leading up to the overlook.

Wow!

Zeke pointed out the Georgia flag. 

Rock candy mustaches (beard for Macie)!

Right side mountains, left side flat land.

Love the view of the monument and with the flags.

Love this!

My boys!

They're still down there!

Heading back home.

South Dakota sunset.

We had such a wonderful time at Mount Rushmore! (Overall, the car ride was smooth which makes me think our long car ride up here wasn't a fluke and that they may be able to handle another long ride to Georgia to visit family and friends.) In the car, we read facts about South Dakota, and about Mt. Rushmore and it's history. The boys really enjoyed it there! Macie is still a bit young to understand, but after viewing a 10 minute movie about the history of Mt. Rushmore including the dynamite going off - Macie became nervous when we went back outside and was saying, "It's going to fall! The head is going to fall on us!" Everyone got a small souvenir, including rock candy. I tried teaching the boys "Home on The Range" song that I remember singing with my brother growing up, but they didn't seem too interested. ;) We discovered there is a lot to do in Rapid City, but just a lot of it is closed for winter. :( BUT, I think we are going to plan a long weekend down there some time this summer with the entire family! 

This trip was such a good one for our family. Time together and time exploring a new state and historical place. So thankful for this experience! I left there feeling refreshed and full of happiness, as did my kiddos. =)

One Year

Today marks one year since my surgery. I don't know why I can't say "cancer free". Maybe because I am such a "technical" or "exact" kind of person, since we technically don't know for sure, I would hate to say, "Woohoo, free!" and then not be. (Does that sound ridiculous?) 

Anyways, with it being the one year mark, I figured it would be appropriate to give an update. In December, I went to a doctor for the first time in months. It is more of a naturopath office. The doctor I saw, specializes or usually handles all the thyroid-related patients. (I'd also like to note that the requirements, or laws are more strict up here for naturopathic drs than they were in Ga.) I took a picture of all the current supplements I've been taking. This lady looked overwhelmed and shocked. Dr. R (my Ga naturopath) took me off Nature-Throid over the summer, and put me on other stuff. This new dr had no idea what that stuff even is, let alone what purpose it serves. My appointment lasted a good 1 1/2-2 hours. We went over my entire medical history, and my families. We went over every issue and symptom. She even checked my mouth/throat and touched my neck (also noting how swollen my tonsils were) which is something Dr. R never did. She told me to STOP taking most of those supplements (I'm only taking cortisol management and the ones for my deficiencies now). She had me come in the following week for fasting lab work, once the results came in, she had me get off what Dr. R had me on for "thyroid" and she put me back on Nature-Throid. Want to know what my lab results were? Well, first let me start off by saying if your TSH is high, that means your thyroid is actually low (hypo). My TSH was so incredibly high, it was off the chart; the lab couldn't even get a number. My other numbers (T3, T4) were extremely low as well. So, what Dr. R in Ga was giving me, actually was hurting me. If there is any residual cancer left, this is the kind of environment it would grow in. Thyroid cancer grows in a thyroid hungry body...and mine has been starving. This explains so much...

Some things you guys didn't know. I will be honest. There were times I thought Dr. R didn't know what she was doing. She would say we would do something, then never did, or say take this, then two minutes later say no, do this. Or when she took me off Nature-Throid for something "all natural". Seriously? Ya don't get more natural than that. And as you can tell by my labs, what she put me on, was starving my body of the thyroid hormone (remember, I don't have a thyroid anymore - I need that hormone). She never touched me (like my neck which I'm so used to be done by other doctors) or checked me in any way. And remember how she made a huge deal of me no longer having an autoimmune disease? Well, the dr up here kindly explained to me, well no duh because my thyroid which was causing the disease had been removed therefore the autoimmune disease would go away. That was not of Dr. R's doing. I feel like I was in such a anti-modern doctor mode that those little feelings I had about Dr. R I just ignored. I was so angry with my endocrinologist and surgeon, and really just Western medicine in general, that I didn't care, and I continued care with Dr. R. I do feel like I've calmed down some, and am a bit more open minded. Of course I prefer natural, but I don't feel like I'm so narrow-minded or angry anymore with "traditional" doctors, or however you want to say it.

Also, over the last few months (really, since getting off of Nature-Throid) my health has declined. In August, out of nowhere, my back started to kill me. Literally, I couldn't walk for very long, my back would start having spasms. I was getting shotting pain down to my calves. My calves would tighten so bad. It was random and odd. Up until moving, I was seeing my chiropractor 3 times a week and was not improving. Then my joints/muscles/nerves were stiffening up, hurting, going numb. I was getting swollen looking, I gained weight. I contributed all this to the move. To the stress of Perry being gone, both boys in school, Macie getting her lil' attitude going on. I just blamed life. But even after the move, it continued. I was always tired. I woke up tired. I was falling asleep so early. I felt bad about the way I looked and felt. Of course me, trying to self-diagnose, came up with all these horrifying diagnosis. It was just bad. I think that has contributed to my lack of going out and mingling up here. Anyhow...a lot of this makes sense now. Gaining weight, tired, even some of the other symptoms the doctor said are thyroid related. Turns out some of the supplements Dr. R had me on, are actually quite dangerous for your health. Well, in the last month of being off the those supplements, that nerve/muscle/joint (whatever it was) pain has gone away. MY BACK (if you can believe it) has drastically improved. I know it sounds silly, but I was able to walk my kids to the play ground two blocks down the road just the other day. Just a few months ago, I couldn't walk at the zoo; I had to stop at every bench, Perry had to massage my calves to help loosen them up, I was in tears when we left because I started to have back spasms. But today I can walk! I can go up and down the stairs without tears! Like, it was bad. I have been praying that God would miraculously heal my back, and yeah well, its better! (It has hurt a little here and there, but its such great improvement - again, I can walk now!!!) 

I didn't share any of this before because I was embarrassed. But honestly, even my soul, even in my heart, my attitude, my perspective has improved. I feel happy! And I know it will take some time to find the right dosage on Nature-Throid, but I'm so thankful we're taking steps in the right direction to get there! Like my doctor said, we're going to first focus on getting my thyroid levels good and under control, then we can tackle the next thing. I just can't explain how horrible I felt on the inside and out the past several months and how good I feel today. My hope has been restored.

Update on my sister...she met with a surgeon yesterday and her surgery is scheduled for March 24th. My sister and I were wondering how her doctor could say for sure she had thyroid cancer when my endo and other people's experience as well, has been you don't know for sure until the surgery and final path reports. This dr explained to my sister there is a 5 level rating system, and most people only have the first couple positive, but she had all 5 positive. And like her endo had said she would definitely be receiving radiation, he said they don't talk radiation until after surgery because if the cancerous nodules are under a certain size, they just check again at the one year mark. She felt really good about him and the plan, so I am happy for her. This was not the original surgeon her doctor referred her to; my sister went out and did research and this is a well-known dr who specializes in thyroid surgery and he is also a professor, I believe. Though it makes me so sad this is happening to my sister, I am so thankful she is receiving good care. 

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Romans 12:12

Sledding

Take great joy in the Eternal! His gifts are coming, 
and they are all your heart desires! 

Psalm 37:4

New Years Eve

December 31st, 2013

Macie fell asleep so it was just the boys and I (Perry was working). I hardly made it to midnight. The boys took a nap earlier in the day to help give 'em the energy to stay up later. We watched TV and then switched to some news channel to watch the ball drop at midnight. 

2013 In Review

2013 has been a cRaZy year full of many ups and downs, curves, bumps, the works! But hey, we made it! We all survived! God is good!

We started off 2013 in January with my surgery. Yes, thyroid cancer is one of the first things I think of when I reflect on this past year. So many challenges were faced that I never imagined I would have to face at 24-25 years old. But looking back, I can also see the faithfulness of God. The journey continues, and that is what I must remember; it's a journey. 

Another huge event was when Perry left for North Dakota in March. He was gone for 7 months. That alone was such a challenging time for our family, and personally a trying time for me as I had just started my 12-week detox. Emotions were running wild for everyone in the Robinson family. This decision ultimately lead to our big move in October. (Get back to me later in 2014 on how I really feel about that! LOL!) 

When I think 2013, I also think Thrive: 

"Your marriage is what you make it, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer.

So, how are you doing?

Every marriage has room to grow, and we all can benefit from a deeper relationship with our spouses. Yet, we never seem to have time to just work on our marriages. No matter how long you have been married, Thrive will help you understand God's plan for your marriage and discover new insights about your relationship with your spouse."

It kind of sucked having to go through that without Perry as he left for N.D. just a couple weeks into it, but ultimately I think the separation may have been a life saver at that particular moment in our marriage. 

Perry and I also celebrated 6 years of marriage in June.

2013 also brought our kids their first trip to the beach! We took them to Myrtle Beach for a couple days in May and they loved it. I think Asher may very well be my beach bum child. He still asks to go back. ;-) 

2013 is/was Zeke's last year of being a single digit in age. Asher's first year of school. And in 2013, Macie developed some real attitude personality. ;-) Everyone is growing up and growing into their own little people! Exciting and challenging! I need to sing to myself as I have sung to Perry, "you're going to miss this... you're going to want this back... you're going to wish these days hadn't gone by so fast". 

I also discovered Lysa TerKeurst, Priscilla Shirer, Jen Hatmaker, and fell more in love with Ann Voskamp. All incredibly godly women who I have learned from either through their Bible studies, blogs, books, and/or following them on Facebook. Their words of encouragement have helped encourage me many a times this past year. 

I read some good books this year - the few that stick out the most being Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers, Captivating by Stasi Eldredge, and Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. (I also want to make a note that I still believe two of the best books anyone could ever read are Grace Walk and The DNA of Relationships. Just felt the need to add that.) 

Continuing the theme of 2012, I believe 2013 also carried with it an underlying theme of forgiveness and reunification. 

In November, my eldest sister was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. This arises so many questions on so many different levels for me, personally, as I'm sure for her as well. BUT, she is a very smart and strong woman - whom I admire so much. And her husband is very calm, rational, and supportive. She has switched doctors and has an appointment in January and will know more then. 

November also makes me think of Kotah, our dog. We had to part ways as he became increasingly aggressive with the kids and I. He eventually bit and so Perry had to find him another home. Maybe we will try getting another dog again sometime later down the road, but as of right now, we are in no hurry.  

Oh! Something I'm very excited about that is also a "new" this last year - THE HONEST COMPANY. Check it out! I just ordered their diaper/wipe bundle and am very pleased! Since it seems we are in no hurry to potty train, and I try to buy the most "natural" and "green" diapers for Macie anyway, this has been so cool because you get to pick the diaper patterns! A portion of the money is also donated to those in need. Seriously, just go check it out. Super cool stuff.

2013 theme song for me (says friends) but also as I think about it, for my family, too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8VoUYtx0kw Mandisa "Overcomer"

Lastly, 2013 brought a new hobby and love - knitting! I am new to it and have only completed one project; a scarf for Macie. It is highly addicting and so therapeutic. I thoroughly enjoy it. I could totally stay curled up on the couch and knit away all day while overlooking our snow covered yard. ;-)

Macie's scarf.

Oh, me oh my, Asher has grown up so much this year. 

He's learning more about himself and the world around him. He's coming into his own self. 

This has been a big year for Zeke! 

In GA, he was put into the advanced content classes at school. In ND, he continues to excel in his classes and impress his teacher. Most importantly, 2013 is the year he became baptized! 

Still need to write about this conference I went to in September.

It. messed. me. up. bad.

"Please, daddy." 

Can you guess what his answer was?

Long, straight ND road.

Baby babywearing!

Christmas day.

Tea with little sis.

Tea time with daddy!

Asher helping Macie feed her baby.

The guys. <3 

The first snowman.

This. 

...This spoke so much to me this year.

Christmas 2013

Christmas

Wednesday December 25th, 2013

This was our first Christmas truly being on our own. In a far away state, far from family and friends. Both exciting and new for us. We got our white Christmas =) A very white Christmas, at that. About 5-6 days before, Asher came down with the stomach bug. At first I didn't think much of it because he is my child who will randomly get a "bug" but no one else will. Then I got it, and within 8 hours of me getting sick, so did Zeke and Macie. And they started at the same. exact. time. if you can even believe the chances of that happening. Thankfully, once I told Perry I was sick, he was able to wrap things up at work and made it home shortly after the other two became sick. We spent the weekend before Christmas vegging out, mostly sleeping. Perry eventually got sick too, but I am just thankful we were all better by Christmas! 

Christmas Eve we got up early and went into the city because I had to have blood taken - "fasting lab work". This was for my thyroid. We then got breakfast and did some last minute shopping. Oh, and we also saw the movie "Frozen" on Sunday, which I really enjoyed. I'm not one for Disney movies or even kid movies (they just are usually boring to me, sorry y'all) but I really liked this one. The kids did too. Christmas Eve evening we let each kid open one present each and we read John 1:14:

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

I saw this on Facebook, this reading plan. It's just a couple verses a day from Dec. 1st-24th. Some of the verses are in John, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Luke, Matthew, and Micah - all in regards to Jesus' birth. It was something simple and fun I've been doing with the boys leading up to Christmas. 

We still aren't doing Santa since I told them the truth a couple years ago. This year was kind of hard because  Asher received a letter from Santa at school and is now convinced he is real. And Perry feels bad that we ever told them the truth - he claims we have robbed them of their childhood somehow. And Macie being just two, goes around saying yes Santa is real, but I don't think she really understands. I usually take them to have their picture taken with Santa regardless just because it's fun. However, we did not this year just because it's a new state and I don't know, I guess that's become my excuse for everything lately. (Honestly, things just aren't as convenient to us as they once were.) Macie took a super long nap on Christmas Eve and would not go to bed that night, so she helped me wrap presents til about 1 am. 

Asher sleeping peacefully Christmas Eve.

Zeke sleeping peacefully Christmas Eve.

Christmas Eve.

The boys were up at 5:30 am ready to open presents but we didn't start til 6:30. Perry made breakfast (which is the best gift for this mom). It was just a nice day full of playing with new toys, playing in snow, watching a Christmas Story (or other Christmas shows). We baked cookies and sang Happy Birthday to Jesus. Perry shoveled the driveway and I think he completed it in record time. Truly, I was impressed. We had a very simple, peaceful, and blessed Christmas. :)

The day after Christmas we had some more errands to finish up before Perry would need to leave back for work. When all that was finished, we went to the science museum in the city; my sister and brother-in-law had bought us a family membership as a Christmas gift! We spent several hours there and had so much fun! The kids did not want to leave! I'm thinking we will head back over there again before school break is over. 

Zeke loved it there!

Asher was totally impressed with the heart pump thing.

Macie!