Friday, October 18, 2013

A time to reflect

About 3 1/2 years ago, I suggested to Perry we should move. I was ready ready for a new start and cooler weather. And a more peaceful, country setting. A farmers lifestyle, perhaps, where our theme song would be "Where the green grass grows" by Tim McGraw. Yes, I said to my husband, "Let's move to North Dakota." Not because of any research I'd done on it, but just because it was far and contained the cooler weather I was longing for; it sounded random and I liked that. Oh, and I specifically requested a town called Loveland just because it sounded like such a peaceful place to raise our kids on the farm we would have up there. Yes, my dear friends, this is a true story. (Note: Loveland, N.D. does not actually exist.) It became a joke between us because Perry and my sister informed me just how cold it gets up there, and how low the population is, and yadda yadda yad.

Then, 1-2 years ago I heard about all the work and ran the idea by Perry once more. He was very quick to decline. He's a Georgia boy, born and raised, he wasn't about to move anywhere, 'cept maybe cross county lines. Then last year as a friends hubby moved up, we revisited the idea and he was seriously considering it. But then that's when my biopsy and diagnosis all came about and the subject was quickly dropped til this last March. That is when it went from being a temporary thing, to that same Georgia boy falling in love with the big open skies of North Dakota and the desire of his heart changed to where he wanted to bring his family up there to enjoy and experience all God's beauty and wonder with him.

So all that to say, if you notice a small smirk cross my face as I tell you we are moving to North Dakota, it's because it's been an inside joke for so long that it's hard to believe that we are literally moving there. It makes me think of the power of the tongue and desire of the heart and all that. 

Today was the boys last day of school (Macie's was yesterday). I brought cookie cake for each class. We said our goodbyes. In fact, I didn't get to say all the goodbyes that I should have; just couldn't bring myself to doing it. We gave thanks for their teachers this year at their school here and the ones yet to come, prayers for former and future classmates. It seems to have hit Zeke the hardest. As he climbed into the car today, he turned towards the window and shed some silent tears, and I put my hand on his shoulder. I don't know how to make it hurt less, but I sure can stand by his side.

This morning, I had a sweet visit with friends from Cub Scouts and was gifted thoughtfully. It doesn't seem real yet. Reality has not settled in for this mama. I have been in go, go, go mode. Packing, cleaning, throwing away, donating extras. Lack of sleep. I've become so focused on the goal to get up there that I've to make myself stop and smell the roses. I do treasure the small moments in times with dear ones whom I love.

Farah watched my kids yesterday while I was at the boys' conferences. It was great for the kids, a help to me, and the conferences went well. Both boys doing great academically. But more than that, just hearing the compliments for who they are, and for their characters, melted this mamas heart. I am so proud of them.

On the packing front, Amber has been so faithful to help me out just about every day. Especially with my bad back, she honestly has been doing most of the work. We have worked so late as to 4:30 in the morning. Mind you, she has three kids of her own. Her husband also being so supportive to not complain about the absence of his wife while she is over here helping me out. There's no way I would be done and ready to move if it were not for Amber. Thankful for her following the leading of the Lord to help me during this time. And she is naturally so good at organizing and doing things quickly and making  a lot of things fit into tiny spaces - truly, this chick is gifted! I am so grateful, I just wish I had better words to explain the gratitude in my heart.

I've also been blessed by other friends; Crystal helping me rid of trash and such in the back yard this past Monday. Sheree stopping by on Sunday. Breakfast the other day with Chantell, Julie and April from my old women's community group at Cracker Barrel. Also grateful for the last minute reminder from Farah of tonights pack meeting with Cub Scouts and her taking Zeke for me, and for another family making an extra boat for the "rain gutter regatta" that Zeke was able to use. God thing, right there, folks.

Perry's plane arrives late tomorrow (well, today now). Amber and I (mostly Amber (: ) should have this whole place packed up and cleaned up by then so Saturday can just be a fun day. Crystal is blessing us with dinner before I pick up Perry, and will be watching my kiddos when I go pick up Perry. Which again, blessing for me not to have to take 3 young kids into Atlanta at midnight and blessing for them that they get to have a sleepover with friends who are truly more like family at this point. Sunday is church, Zeke's baptism, final walk thru with landlord, dinner and hit the road! I am excited to get things started; to have Perry by my side, and to get this move movin' along. This is one of those huge changes in life that cannot be ignored the amount and way you must trust in the Lord. Which is both exciting and terrifying because that means letting go of the way you think things ought to go, and surrendering to something greater. Someone. Our Heavenly Father who knows best. Trusting Him to provide, protect. Leaning into Him every moment of the day, especially as you feel you can't take anymore. This is a huge time for growth for our family. 

This may be my last post for a while because I don't know when we have internet turned on up there (hopefully won't be too long). I can imagine, though, for my next post to be very picture heavy with pics from Zeke's birthday bash celebration (baptism) and the move. God is good always!

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