Hope For a Future

I love babies. They are so beautiful and good. They don't know evil. So naturally loving and trusting. Healthy and beautiful. They represent life. There's so much hope in life.

With everything going on the past year, I have felt like my life was being threatened for having a future. Yeah ok, let's not get all technical with the, "We're all born dying." or "You could have cancer and yet die by getting hit by a bus." Just hear me out, k? 

With life hanging in the balance, I found it hard sometimes to live in the present, to enjoy what the moment offered. There were times I was just thinking about, "Will I be here when the kids graduate? For their weddings? For grandbabies?" Afterall, the doctors were asking me don't I want to be here for my kids 20 years down the line. 

Going through the process of my healing journey has been just that; a process and a journey. There's been no miracles, no quick fixes. It's been trying and testing, requiring perseverance and faith. 

God has been good to be faithful. Overall, I keep getting good news. Slowly but surely, encouraging news all pointing in the right direction. How many times must I doubt before I believe? He has been so good to me - will I ever just not allow the bad to consume my thoughts and instead go straight to assuming the best? He has proven Himself, when will I prove my trust in Him?

Today I experienced hope for a future. The kind of hope I have experienced three times before. The kind that fills my heart and my causes it to do leaps and bounds within my chest cavity. The type that causes me to get high off natural endorphins. Yes, my friends, I experienced true hope. I dreamt of a future, and it felt real and attainable, like this is really gonna happen.

Not long ago, I finally had blood taken for the long awaited deficiency test. And had my hormone levels checked as well (hormones have been off and doing crazy things since the birth of Macie; having never normalized since). Starting with the hormones - looking at them all, my naturopath was filled with joy. So excited for me, she too believes I have a future. We discussed what these numbers mean, and what they mean all combined. Good things to anticipate, she says, within 3 months times. Talks about do you want more kids in the future? Yes, it is still a possibility for me; no permanent damage has been done. (Calm down, folks, we don't plan on procreating til this momma's health is fully restored in God's perfect timing.) We move on to discuss the deficiencies. I was expecting the list to be as long as my arm. But no. 3 deficiencies, that's all I have; only three! This is more good news. So attainable, so realistic to get under control. We came up with a plan, a goal, and supplement routine/foods to add to diet. 

She and I - we talked about my future. She smiles. "It is so good you know the Lord." She rejoices with me. She believes I will be here in 20 years. Oh, to have a doctor who believes in me and believes in God and His ways of restoring health to one's body and soul! For the first time in a while, I don't feel like someone who is dying; I feel like I, too, have hope for life, for a future with my family - all thanks to Jesus Himself! Jesus heals, restores, and redeems. I am getting to experience this firsthand on the journey I am on. My physical, emotional/mental, spiritual health is being restored by the grace and patience of God. Can I get a hallelujah?!