I think I have spent a lot of time fantasizing about what my future husband will be like. I've always assumed he would love me in spite of my flaws. That perhaps it would be my flaws that would make him love me so. That he will see my heart behind the action, the pain and the strength, and love me for it. Have a heart of mercy and grace for me. But what I've come to realize, this very well may never be the case. My future husband may not look over my sins and flaws sympathetically as I'd of hope him to. In fact, they may be an eye sore for him...something that's hard for him to get over, difficult for him to deal with. Because whether we like it or not, our past has a direct affect on our future.
I look at these Christian men who have these impeccable morals and it's all I want in a future husband and step father to my children. And now I'm stopped dead in my tracks- has the choices I've made in my past hindered me from having a relationship with such a person? It is a possibility. I'm not sure anymore if there's hope for me. I'm uncertain of what the future looks like for me in the dating arena. But all this - it brings me back to wanting to emphasize the importance of intentionality. We need to think long term about our choices and the affect they will have, because no doubt they will have an affect. What do you want your story to be?
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