Tuesday, May 27, 2014

RIP Ruby

Monday May 26th (Memorial Day) 2014

Today we lost a family member.




Our sweet Ruby passed away. She was hit by a car.
I never thought I could love a pet so much. I could never understand those who did. But from the day we brought Ruby home, when she was merely 5.5 weeks old, I fell in love. Truly, genuinely, sincerely I fell in love with this little pup. And not just me, but my whole family. She was a part of our family. A very, very loved family member.

We had taken her with us to the park today. She was on her leash. When we came back, I started working on making dinner and she was running wild through the house. Usually at meal time, we either put her in her kennel, or outside on her chain. Silly Ruby wouldn't come to the boys, even with them holding a treat in their hands. Me, being fully focused in what I was doing, just said to put her outside, thinking I would put her on her chain once the kids had ate. It wasn't much longer later when our doorbell rang, and a lady told us our dog had been hit, that she was dead. Right outside our living room window, there lay our sweet Ruby. I immediately called Perry who was at work and he came home, and we buried Ruby in the back yard. 

Before Perry got home, after the lady had left, I just stood in shock. As did the kids. Zeke started to cry, he was blaming himself for putting her outside. I told him over and over it was NOT his fault, he only did as I instructed him. Macie kept insisting she could go over to Ruby and ask if she's ok. Asher was fighting back the tears. He eventually walked to a corner, and the water works started. That is so typical Asher...trying to be all strong and hold in his emotions. I held my babies so close, crying with them, Asher told me he was trying so hard not to cry but he couldn't stop. Zeke said similar. Asher kept repeating, "I will never see her again". Zeke was sharing his upset that he was frustrated with her their last moments together. Macie chimed in saying, "If we say 'oh my god' she will come back. Say 'oh my god', you guys." And I did. 

All I could think of was if this is how it feels to lose a pet - if these are the emotions we have - shock, sadness, regret - how much greater will they be if we lost a dear friend or family member? How many times have I ended a conversation with my husband in upset? Or became irritated with a friend? Or wishing for a break when parenting proves too challenging? Life is so precious. And I am so guilty of having these thoughts, feelings and actions. Just today, I was talking about a possible trip we're considering this summer. I was thinking how difficult it is to have to find a sitter for Ruby and it cramps my travel schedule. And now look, she's gone. I regret ever complaining about it. I miss her so much.

I sure hope our pets go to Heaven. I look forward to seeing her again some day. Until we meet again, Ruby, know you are insanely loved FOREVER and missed dearly.

RIP Ruby Nikki Robinson
2/8/14-5/26/14


I have heard people say if you see a butterfly after the passing of a loved one, that's them there in spirit. This evening this butterfly landed on the front of my car and stayed there even during a drive to and from the gas station. I choose to believe Ruby is here in spirit.

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