Thursday, June 21, 2012

A Change of Heart

Maybe a change in heart would be a more appropriate title? Anyhow, lets back up some. The past month or so have been extremely difficult for me which in turn directly affects my family. Maybe its from my husbands crazy new schedule or maybe I just snapped. Whatever the cause, I've been short tempered with my kids, and really kind of self-centered in my thinking ("I never get a break" and comparing myself to others). I am so thankful for the people placed in my life to help me stay on the straight and narrow. By being examples themselves to giving good advice, my friends and mentor have taught me alot. I've also been going to God, too. Slowly but surely He has been working in my heart. My perspective is changing. My attitude. My patience. Life had become all about survival; surviving that day, that hour, that minute. I wasn't enjoying life and I wasn't being the mom I want to be, let alone the one I've been called to be. But God is faithful. He may not always hop to it as quickly as we'd prefer, but in His own sweet and perfect timing He answers the call. Perfectly. I wish I knew HOW to describe the change that has taken place within me. And I am human so I still have my moments, but man, I'm seeing God more. I am FEELING God more! I am *In-Love* with Him once more! He has sparked this fire in my heart! He is helping me to be a better mom! At the most random times I will find myself just lifting my hand(s) high in the air just praising Him! Sometimes I will stand on my tip toes because maybe then I'll be able to feel Him more! In the shower, in the kitchen, driving down the highway - I may look silly to outsiders but in my heart I am overwhelmed with joy and love! After all this time, I'm really starting to make progress to be back where I was with him 5 years ago. So, all credit goes to God for changing my heart/perspective/attitude as a parent. I give Him credit for all good things. Y'all, I am just so overwhelmed by Him. I want for everyone to experience what I am right now. I love You, God, Father, Savior! To You be the glory for the change of this heart!!!

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