Happy Birthday, Asher!

4 years ago today at 4:55pm (that's what the hospital said, I thought it was 4:56) my sweet, sweet Asher man was born! Right from the start, he was such an easy going baby! He started sleeping through the night at just a couple months old, he was very easy to put to bed, he always had a smile on his face and still does!

Asher is such a happy boy! He has a fabulous heart! He really looks out for the ones he loves especially big brother, little sister, and mommy! He loves God and loves learning about Him. He constantly prays for others - if you have a one time prayer request, no worries, Ash will keep praying that pray for ya months later! He says the sweetest and random things, "I love you mommy no matter what!" For no reason he will just blow me and Macie kisses, he's good about giving random hugs and encouraging words. Sometimes when he gets in trouble, he says in a kind of panicky voice, "Do you forgive me?"

Asher melts my heart. I am so thankful God gave me him and I so wish he would stop growing up sooo fast!!!!

Love you, Asher man, for ever and always NO MATTER WHAT!!!

Life Without God

"I don't believe Christianity is the only way."

Yikes.

Those are the words I just heard spoken by someone I am very close to, someone I love very much.

What do you say to something like that? Especially when that person comes from a broken and very abusive home, all done "in the name of the Lord"? My heart is broken, my mind is racing.

I don't know how people live w/out God. I take such comfort when there's a situation I'm faced with and it has me baffled, I can just go to Him! He can and will lead me! Or during tragedies or difficult times, it's comforting to know that there's a bigger picture than me in the here and now. That God takes care of those who love Him. It's good to know that when I'm at a lose, He is not! He is up to something good and marvelous!

But what about those who are at a lose? "I don't know what to do." they say. What do I say? I try to seek the Lord for advice but they don't believe. So, when they're at a lose, they really are. Sometimes I give my Christian advice anyways. And I'll pray for them. I think one of the biggest ways to witness to someone is not by preaching, but by the way you conduct and live out your life.

I love this person so much. I have faith that one day she will embrace Abba.

Happy Birthday, Zeke!

Eight years ago today (@ 11:23pm, to be exact) my life became saved. A little baby named Ezekiel filled my life with love, hope, and purpose. Words cannot do justice as to what I'm trying to explain here. I had never known these things before him, it wasn't until him that I had my first real experience with love and hope. And though I always believed in God, having Zeke brought me even closer to Him.

My sweet, beautiful, handsome, gorgeous, smart, clever, silly little boy. He literally has the face of an angel and always has. He is a fasntastic protector over his younger brother and sister. Whenever I ask his help I know he'll be there to help. This child is wise beyond his years. He started walking at only 7 months old - he's a flippin' smart boy! I could carry on conversations with him at a young age. He's such alittle genius, ya see, he didn't call me mom for long because he quickly picked up that everyone else called me Emma, so he did too until he was almost 2 1/2. Zeke was such a snuggle bunny - the biggest one of all my kids. He reminds me a lot of me. I do my best to lift him up, to encourage him. He doesn't realize how wonderful he truly is.

I love my son soooo much. I'm soooo thankful he's mine!!!

Happy Birthday, sweet boy!!! Mommy loves you for forever & beyond, NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!

Happy Birthday, Macie!

Today, my sweet angel princess daughter turned 1 year old! I can't believe it! She has brought more love and happiness into our family - we all cherish sweet Macie!

This morning we let her open a couple gifts early (her party is this Saturday). She cried! For real, girlfriend did not want anything to do with opening presents! Hey, it IS her birthday, she can cry if she wants to! ;) Big brothers, Zeke & Asher helped her. She got 4 new spring/summer outfits and a toy! She also had her 1 year old picture taken today! She did great! She took a super long b-day nap! And she ate a cupcake after dinner (she'll have her official bday cake at her party )! She especially loved sharing it with daddy! Now sweet girl is passed out in her bed after a long day! I love my girl so much!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MACIE!!! I LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!! :-*

1 yr

A year ago today was a very (unnecessarily) scary and traumatic day for me. Though the end result was nothing short of wonderful, she would've been just as wonderful had she been allowed to make her big debut when she was ready to. I still can't believe what happened actually happened. I can't believe how acceptable its become to have control-out-of-fear common in the birth process. I can't believe the amount of woman who are robbed of this God-given experience.

I can't help but wonder when we're going to give birth back to God?... When are we going to stop it with the man-made interventions and let the body do exactly what God made it to do? When are we let go and let God? And why have we even started with all these interventions? In the rare case thats necessary, yay, but 90-something percent of the time its not and once again we're abusing our knowledge of things. In fact, most of the time, we make things worse. Why the need for all the interventions? To fatten a certain someone's pocket? 'Cause I sure know its not for mommy & babys benefit. Studies have shown the lack of bonding through these interventions, the disstress it causes baby, the blues it causes mommy,the risk it causes them, the experience it robs. I just...don't understand why some in the medical (I feel) choose to abuse their power and why the patient doesn't question things. But sometimes even that's not enough.

I hope things change. I hope one day (sooner than later?) women will take back this experience. Ok, you may go over 40 weeks - so what?! In the scheme of things, a couple extra days preggers is nothing. Next go round, I plan on not complaining on "being ready" or whatever. Next time, I'm going to better appreciate every day my baby has within me because it's obviously a day much needed. And next time, I will choose to put my trust in God knowing He created my body to birth my child, no interventions necessary.

Hospital stay continued

Macie was admitted to the hospital Saturday, January 28th and was released Tuesday, January 31st, 2011.

Originally, they suspected it was meningitis. But no bacteria ever grew in her spinal fluid or any other test. Originally, her white blood cell count was very high, as was something with inflamination (sp) but with time and IV antibiotics, those both went down and pretty much lead the doctors to believe that whatever she had was viral. It took her a whole week from the day she originally got sick for her to smile again. I'm glad to say that today my sweet girl is 100% back to normal; smiling, scooting, clapping, and eating like a champ (nursing). I was so worried there for a while. Praise God for healing my little girl! We have been blessed by all the prayers from family members and friends. I am so thankful for our small group through church. I went four nights without having to make dinner; my friend Farah brought us dinner one night, then, Misty, from small group gave us two gift cards, then ALL the women in my small group (Misty, Kelly, Briana, Danetta, and Jennifer) all pitched in and brought us dinner, desert and some yummy snacks! We are so blessed and thankful to have these wonderful and kind people in our life! Briana even came over Friday to help me straighten up because I've been feeling so overwhelmed. I felt so much better by just talking with her. It's amazing what a difference that made. Yesterday, we checked the mail and Macie received a get well card from Briana and her husband, Justin. It's like every day we are getting another reminder of God's love and grace by the people He's placed in our life.

Miss Mace and daddy looking out the hospital room window.

Sunday evening, Macie's big brothers came for a visit. WOW how she perked up! It's so sad - you could really tell she missed her brothers and oh how they were worried about her! I love to witness the love my kids have for one another!

Mace-Mace Sunday evening. Brother's brought her some toys to play with!

Sunday morning. Sweetheart looks rough. =/

She loved hanging out by the window and checking out the construction going on below.

The sign on her door =)

Monday we were able to take her out of the room for a ride.

She enjoyed watching the trains go 'round.

Sweet girl and daddy checking out the fishies.

They have a Star Bucks in the hospital! Perry and I had to stop for some caffeine (which I normally do NOT drink) - we hadn't had much sleep in a couple days at this point.

We didn't find out about this place til the day we left! The Zone is a place area for the kids in the basement - sounds rough but it's not - mostly for older kids, but it was cool to check out!

Bunch - o - famous peeps who signed the wall! See, Jeff Foxworthy!

I thought this was pretty cool!

Leaving The Zone!!

Tuesday, leaving the hospital. This was a student nurse who we had Sunday and then again Tuesday. What a sweetie!

Macie, ready to head on home!!

Full of Thankfulness

I feel like I'm learning a lot about God's grace lately by the people He's placed in my life. From kind friends and small group members offering prayers and help for Macie and our family, to my kind friend, Farah, who didn't ask but rather took the initiative and brought us dinner our first night home from the hospital. And sweet, sweet Misty who has her hands full with 6 kids yet she stops by with a sweet note and two gift cards for dinner for our family so I won't have to cook. Also,my mentor, Anne, who went out of her way to stop by the hospital to see me and Macie.You may think these are little, no biggie type acts of kindness, but they mean so much more to me.. i feel so undeserving, yet He blesses me anyway.