Zeke's Baptism

Sunday October 20th 2013 

2:30pm at Browns Bridge Community Church

Zeke's baptism fell on the day of our move...intentionally. As the day approached, I thought for sure I had lost my mind to have had planned it this way. But once it came to be, it went so smoothly and beautifully. It was one so memorable. I am so thankful we chose to do it this way.

There has been a couple times since kindergarten that we attended a thing at our church (per his request) with Zeke explaining what baptism, etc. It became more serious a year ago when Zeke became persistent and we attended once more and started the interviewing process. For whatever reason, we felt best to hold off and wait. And we did. And he kept pursuing, kept asking. He knows baptism isn't what 'saves' us, just FYI. I guess we just wanted to make sure it was a heart thing. He was saved one night after coming to me and asking me to prayer with him. He had been persistent ever since. Once again, we started the or picked up, the interview process which went incredibly well. Zeke's answers blew me out of the water how well he understood things about God and Jesus and what Jesus did for us, how he understands baptism - I mean, things I didn't know or think of in that way. Incredibly proud doesn't do justice to how I felt listening to my boy talk about his/our Savior. It was incredible. We all agreed we felt like he was in fact ready. And so the next baptism was scheduled for 10/20 (this all happened over the summer). 

Two weeks before the baptism, the kids come in and shot their video kind of telling "their story". They even get to do a fun little photo shot. The ladies must've thought I looked rough. As  Zeke went back to do his, there I was in my sweats and big tee, late from trying to pack, I had developed pink eye, and was just overwhelmed and exhausted. They asked and I explained about the move and everything. They must have taken note and I'll explain why later.

Day of baptism, they have all the kids pictures going across the screen with fun facts about them. Before each kids baptism, they played their video. We will receive a copy of Zeke's and I so cannot wait! What a treasure to have! 17 kids were baptized that day. Zeke's story was/is precious. And he definitely gave me a shout out wanting to "thank my mom" which completely melted my heart. 

The whole thing was incredible. We were surrounded by loving friends. Perry's mom, step sister and dad also came out, as well as his high school best friend, Tim and his wife, Brittany. So appreciate their support. Amber and her kids came, April and Gracie, Sheree and her girls, and Crystal with Dustin and Meredith. Both of Zeke's small group leaders were there as well. And we saw Caleb, who was mine and Perry's MoneyWise mentor when we went thru that program at church! It was such a cool way to come full circle, our last time at church. 

We had to get to church early to drop Zeke off. We wouldn't see him again until the baptism. They played songs of worship. It was so good. I can't even begin to explain. It was truly worship. Wholeheartedly, true, genuine, sincere, did not care who saw, lemme raise my hands in the air, worship. Our group took up an entire row. It was beautiful. You could feel the presence of God. It was incredible. After some songs, they started the videos and baptisms. I love hearing everyone's story. Some made me tear up. Getting to witness these young kiddos profess their faith in Christ - beautiful! Precious! Incredible! Blessing! Jeff baptized Zeke. It was incredible. After all the baptisms, the kids came on stage, there was confetti, music. There was talking throughout this. The whole thing was incredible. Really, I was blown away. Shocked. It was amazing, awesome. If I'm being repetitive it's only because it was that good.

Then each kid, like, went to their own spot where family and friends could pray for them. One of Zeke's small group leaders, Brayden, came over and prayed. I felt so compelled to pray and started to, but the tears took over I couldn't finish. I feel kind of silly looking back, but God saw my heart. Again I was blown away because I wasn't expecting everyone to come over there to pray over Zeke but they did! Zeke was surrounded by those who love him! My boy was covered in love! It was the most incredible experience ever! 

From there, we went back to our table where the church provided cake and drinks and a gift. Perry's mom bought Zeke a special cross necklace and bracelet as well as one for Macie and Asher. Both of Zeke's small group leaders came by for a pic and to say 'goodbye' to him. As did Jeff. The church went above and beyond to make this a memorable experience. They gave Zeke a Bible and card. As well as a "birth certificate" (pic above) for everyone to sign. It was all personal; everything having Zeke's name on it. Like, I just love that church so much. They do what they do with excellence. 

Jen, the lady who works at church from two weeks prior that I was talking about, left a card in a bag for our family for our move. The church provided us with many, many, many gift cards for gas, food, etc. for our move! And two worship CDs! I was blown away! She came by and hugged me and said, "I know, I know." 'Cause she knows. 'Cause she was listening to the leading of the Spirit. I mean, I don't know, but that was a blessing. God is so good to provide. The way this move was on then off then on again in such a short time, and then Perry missed so much work leading up to our move because his truck was down but ya know what? He took care of us. All of our needs (plus some) have been met. He is faithful to provide. Nothing is ever hopeless. As long as you have Jesus, you have hope. 

So, that day was special. I am so happy for Zeke. So proud of him. So thankful to be alive and to have been there to see him be baptized! Life is precious, folks. With everything that happened this last year in mind, I am so thankful to have been there. I am so happy for my boy! So happy with his choice - HIS choice! So proud :) He's  a great son and now a great brother in Christ. :) 

A time to reflect

About 3 1/2 years ago, I suggested to Perry we should move. I was ready ready for a new start and cooler weather. And a more peaceful, country setting. A farmers lifestyle, perhaps, where our theme song would be "Where the green grass grows" by Tim McGraw. Yes, I said to my husband, "Let's move to North Dakota." Not because of any research I'd done on it, but just because it was far and contained the cooler weather I was longing for; it sounded random and I liked that. Oh, and I specifically requested a town called Loveland just because it sounded like such a peaceful place to raise our kids on the farm we would have up there. Yes, my dear friends, this is a true story. (Note: Loveland, N.D. does not actually exist.) It became a joke between us because Perry and my sister informed me just how cold it gets up there, and how low the population is, and yadda yadda yad.

Then, 1-2 years ago I heard about all the work and ran the idea by Perry once more. He was very quick to decline. He's a Georgia boy, born and raised, he wasn't about to move anywhere, 'cept maybe cross county lines. Then last year as a friends hubby moved up, we revisited the idea and he was seriously considering it. But then that's when my biopsy and diagnosis all came about and the subject was quickly dropped til this last March. That is when it went from being a temporary thing, to that same Georgia boy falling in love with the big open skies of North Dakota and the desire of his heart changed to where he wanted to bring his family up there to enjoy and experience all God's beauty and wonder with him.

So all that to say, if you notice a small smirk cross my face as I tell you we are moving to North Dakota, it's because it's been an inside joke for so long that it's hard to believe that we are literally moving there. It makes me think of the power of the tongue and desire of the heart and all that. 

Today was the boys last day of school (Macie's was yesterday). I brought cookie cake for each class. We said our goodbyes. In fact, I didn't get to say all the goodbyes that I should have; just couldn't bring myself to doing it. We gave thanks for their teachers this year at their school here and the ones yet to come, prayers for former and future classmates. It seems to have hit Zeke the hardest. As he climbed into the car today, he turned towards the window and shed some silent tears, and I put my hand on his shoulder. I don't know how to make it hurt less, but I sure can stand by his side.

This morning, I had a sweet visit with friends from Cub Scouts and was gifted thoughtfully. It doesn't seem real yet. Reality has not settled in for this mama. I have been in go, go, go mode. Packing, cleaning, throwing away, donating extras. Lack of sleep. I've become so focused on the goal to get up there that I've to make myself stop and smell the roses. I do treasure the small moments in times with dear ones whom I love.

Farah watched my kids yesterday while I was at the boys' conferences. It was great for the kids, a help to me, and the conferences went well. Both boys doing great academically. But more than that, just hearing the compliments for who they are, and for their characters, melted this mamas heart. I am so proud of them.

On the packing front, Amber has been so faithful to help me out just about every day. Especially with my bad back, she honestly has been doing most of the work. We have worked so late as to 4:30 in the morning. Mind you, she has three kids of her own. Her husband also being so supportive to not complain about the absence of his wife while she is over here helping me out. There's no way I would be done and ready to move if it were not for Amber. Thankful for her following the leading of the Lord to help me during this time. And she is naturally so good at organizing and doing things quickly and making  a lot of things fit into tiny spaces - truly, this chick is gifted! I am so grateful, I just wish I had better words to explain the gratitude in my heart.

I've also been blessed by other friends; Crystal helping me rid of trash and such in the back yard this past Monday. Sheree stopping by on Sunday. Breakfast the other day with Chantell, Julie and April from my old women's community group at Cracker Barrel. Also grateful for the last minute reminder from Farah of tonights pack meeting with Cub Scouts and her taking Zeke for me, and for another family making an extra boat for the "rain gutter regatta" that Zeke was able to use. God thing, right there, folks.

Perry's plane arrives late tomorrow (well, today now). Amber and I (mostly Amber (: ) should have this whole place packed up and cleaned up by then so Saturday can just be a fun day. Crystal is blessing us with dinner before I pick up Perry, and will be watching my kiddos when I go pick up Perry. Which again, blessing for me not to have to take 3 young kids into Atlanta at midnight and blessing for them that they get to have a sleepover with friends who are truly more like family at this point. Sunday is church, Zeke's baptism, final walk thru with landlord, dinner and hit the road! I am excited to get things started; to have Perry by my side, and to get this move movin' along. This is one of those huge changes in life that cannot be ignored the amount and way you must trust in the Lord. Which is both exciting and terrifying because that means letting go of the way you think things ought to go, and surrendering to something greater. Someone. Our Heavenly Father who knows best. Trusting Him to provide, protect. Leaning into Him every moment of the day, especially as you feel you can't take anymore. This is a huge time for growth for our family. 

This may be my last post for a while because I don't know when we have internet turned on up there (hopefully won't be too long). I can imagine, though, for my next post to be very picture heavy with pics from Zeke's birthday bash celebration (baptism) and the move. God is good always!

Bitter sweet morning

Today is a beautiful fall day in Georgia. I love fall. I love October. I have been so busy as Perry and I have decided the move is back on (to a new place, of course) that I haven't spent much time soaking up the beauty outside my front door. This morning I took time just to thank Him for this and more. The Creator is an incredible Artist. 

Today has been bitter sweet as I spoke details of the upcoming move with all of my kids teachers. I even withdrew the boys from school, though their last day won't be til the end of next week. Today was also my last day "stuffing" the VIP folders for Asher's class. I know this is what is best for our family. And it excites me so. 

As our time in Georgia is coming to an end, a new beginning is about to start. A new chapter, a new adventure. NEW. All things, everything thing, new. I am so ready for a new start. God, You are good. I look forward to this new and exciting time - a chance to grow more in our faith and dependence on Christ. So excited to have my family back together. 12 days & counting... =)

I'm not sure how to say this -

The news came first thing on a Wednesday morning; about 6 am to be exact. It would be a good five days later before I could muster the courage to tell the children. And their world would shake, again. 

After finding out about our move to North Dakota, we (kids and I) did have mixed emotions at first because Georgia is all my kids have ever known as home. But those emotions soon turned into feelings of pure joy and excitement for the reunification of our family. The slow process of packing had started, and going through our belongings to prepare for a yard sale. Planning, preparing, we were ready.

But God's ways aren't ours. His thoughts aren't ours, either. And we don't understand why things took a turn for the way they did, but nonetheless what happened happened and we won't be moving afterall. At least not on the date we had set, nor to the place we thought. 

Tears shed as I broke the news. I saw my eldest boys heart break before me. The separation between a growing young man and his father should never be so long. I told him it's ok to be upset, it's ok to cry, it's ok to bring these feelings and more to God. It's ok to be angry. We had looked at the pictures of our soon to be home, we had everything planned. Now those dreams were shattered. God, what is going on here?

And I myself feel like a child as I have spent the last some odd days knelt before my bed pleading with God. Like a child trying to persuade their parent, that's how I have felt. The news still stings, it hurts so bad I have dared not say a word to another living soul aside from my naturopath who pulled it out of me. All I want is for my family to be back together, is that so wrong? The holidays are fast approaching, the conditions for moving won't be in our favor much longer. And still the Father is silent and has not acted in such a divine intervention that I see fit. But the truth remains; this move, on planned date, to signed place is simply not going to happen. So what do we do from here?

I must trust in Him, the one who allowed this to be taken away. Maybe it was for our protection? Maybe it is for something better? Maybe just because. I don't know. But I know the character of God is not that of some mean bully going around breaking the heart of the young, and separating families. I know in His good timing, our family will be back together. So now we keep waiting. And preparing. And hoping. And I have no doubt more tears will come, but I also know He will be faithful to comfort. The plan is to continue with the yard sale and such for I don't want there to be a single materialistic hindrance holding us back from being a family again. 

I apologize if this is an impersonal way of breaking the news - especially considering I told many of our friends personally about the good news before making it public. But please try to understand what a blow this is for our family, what a genuine heart break. Going on 7 months away. Over half a year with only seeing him twice. This stuff is hard and I don't know if I can handle having this conversation over and over again. It's hard for him, and hard for us. And deep down I still secretly cling to the hope that something BIG and MIRACULOUS will happen and we'll still get to move before the holidays! I do ask for prayers for our family during this challenging time. Especially for our little ones. Thanks y'all.

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

Hope For a Future

I love babies. They are so beautiful and good. They don't know evil. So naturally loving and trusting. Healthy and beautiful. They represent life. There's so much hope in life.

With everything going on the past year, I have felt like my life was being threatened for having a future. Yeah ok, let's not get all technical with the, "We're all born dying." or "You could have cancer and yet die by getting hit by a bus." Just hear me out, k? 

With life hanging in the balance, I found it hard sometimes to live in the present, to enjoy what the moment offered. There were times I was just thinking about, "Will I be here when the kids graduate? For their weddings? For grandbabies?" Afterall, the doctors were asking me don't I want to be here for my kids 20 years down the line. 

Going through the process of my healing journey has been just that; a process and a journey. There's been no miracles, no quick fixes. It's been trying and testing, requiring perseverance and faith. 

God has been good to be faithful. Overall, I keep getting good news. Slowly but surely, encouraging news all pointing in the right direction. How many times must I doubt before I believe? He has been so good to me - will I ever just not allow the bad to consume my thoughts and instead go straight to assuming the best? He has proven Himself, when will I prove my trust in Him?

Today I experienced hope for a future. The kind of hope I have experienced three times before. The kind that fills my heart and my causes it to do leaps and bounds within my chest cavity. The type that causes me to get high off natural endorphins. Yes, my friends, I experienced true hope. I dreamt of a future, and it felt real and attainable, like this is really gonna happen.

Not long ago, I finally had blood taken for the long awaited deficiency test. And had my hormone levels checked as well (hormones have been off and doing crazy things since the birth of Macie; having never normalized since). Starting with the hormones - looking at them all, my naturopath was filled with joy. So excited for me, she too believes I have a future. We discussed what these numbers mean, and what they mean all combined. Good things to anticipate, she says, within 3 months times. Talks about do you want more kids in the future? Yes, it is still a possibility for me; no permanent damage has been done. (Calm down, folks, we don't plan on procreating til this momma's health is fully restored in God's perfect timing.) We move on to discuss the deficiencies. I was expecting the list to be as long as my arm. But no. 3 deficiencies, that's all I have; only three! This is more good news. So attainable, so realistic to get under control. We came up with a plan, a goal, and supplement routine/foods to add to diet. 

She and I - we talked about my future. She smiles. "It is so good you know the Lord." She rejoices with me. She believes I will be here in 20 years. Oh, to have a doctor who believes in me and believes in God and His ways of restoring health to one's body and soul! For the first time in a while, I don't feel like someone who is dying; I feel like I, too, have hope for life, for a future with my family - all thanks to Jesus Himself! Jesus heals, restores, and redeems. I am getting to experience this firsthand on the journey I am on. My physical, emotional/mental, spiritual health is being restored by the grace and patience of God. Can I get a hallelujah?!

And the big news is...

Six long months ago, my husband went to North Dakota for bigger job opportunities. 

We've talked about and prayed about the possibility of our family moving out there. Well, folks, it is official; we are moving 1700 miles away to good ole North Dakota! It won't fully seem real until that day comes, but Perry has found a home, signed the lease and wrote the check. My friends, this is a done deal! We are experiencing a wide range of emotions, BUT ultimately are excited about our family reuniting! I feel at peace that this was a God thing, so I know there's nothing to worry about - I must keep reminding myself of that. My biggest heart ache is for my children who have never lived outside the state of Georgia. They will be saying goodbye to the only friends they've ever known, to a wonderful school, incredible church and Cub Scout family. Growing up, I moved state to state about 6 times, so when Perry told me the big news, it kind of took me back to the those feelings I had as a kid and I wanted to break the news easy to ours. But I am told children are resilient. And I know more than anything they want to be with their daddy again. Again, God is good, and we may be moving far from our friends and community that we've grown attached to, but we can never move away from God's all encompassing love! We will miss you, Georgia, but are so excited for this new chapter in our lives!

New Beginnings

This week, Macie started pre-school. 

She will be going Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday mornings. And might I add, she had a great first week - didn't cry once!

Asher started tennis this week.

He did so well! I am very proud of him for going out there and trying something new! 

Cub Scouts has also started back up for Zeke. Thursday was the annual Back To Pack meeting/dinner.

Here is Zeke with his best buddy, Dax.

These sweet girls are blessed with such incredible big bro's. 

There will be more big news coming that has everything to do with new beginnings!