Encouragement

"Having faith doesn't mean I have all the answers. It means trusting God especially in the midst of uncertainty."

"You've never gone too far that God can't redeem you, restore you, forgive you, and give you a second (or third, or fourth, or fifth...!) chance. Fight the enemy's lies with that truth tonight, my sweet friends!"

"I have discovered a few things that help me when God seems silent, and I pray they are encouraging to you tonight…

- Press in to God when you want to pull away.
- Praise God out loud when you want to get lost in complaints.
- Put yourself in the company of truth by spending time with those who will speak life into you."

"Being uncertain and scared and riddled with doubt some days isn't a sign of bad things to come. It's actually quite the opposite. After all, if great things weren't on the horizon, I don't think the enemy would be so bent on attacking us."

"Real faith isn’t a hopeful wish. Real faith is making the decision that no matter the outcome, we’ll choose to see it as God’s perfect answer.

Through the good. Through the not-so-good. And even through the down right awful- we will trust God. Now this doesn’t mean we won’t cry and express hurt. But it does mean we’ve decided it’s better to have lived trying to take leaps of faith with God, than to walk away from Him."

All quotes from Lysa TerKeurst that I find encouraging.

First Day of School 2013

Zeke 4th grade - Asher kindergarten

Macie says it's too early!!!

By the time we got to the school, Macie was asking to go to school and she was ready - see the book bag? ;)

I really like Asher's teacher. I can tell, it's going to be a good year! =)

My babe is now a kindergarten! Hard to believe!

After running a few errands, Macie and I enjoyed lunch at home (and kiwi), I gave her a "pedicure", read books and nap time!

Zeke didn't want me to walk him to his classroom this year :( I understand, though, he's getting big and all that. He didn't even want me to take one last pic of him before he went to class. But it's cool; at least I got some good ones (more than posted)! ;) Both the boys had an awesome day and they like their teachers and fellow classmates a lot! Very exciting to see what's in store for my boys this year!

CONFIRMATION

Thursday, I received a phone call from my naturopath's office, saying my results were in, and that the doctor wanted to see me Monday (they're closed Fridays). That made me worry because we had discussed that she would just call me with the results and I'd see her when I would come in for my next appointment. So, I spent three whole days worrying, like I know I shouldn't have, nor needed to, but I did it any way. What added to the intensity of the wait was a conversation I had with a specific someone who I adore and look up to almost to a fault. During our talk, I realized how we differ in our medical views - when I thought all along we were on the same page. And then it hit me; really, truly I am alone in this decision to have declined radiation and seek a more holistic route. I had to make sure that I'm not doing this for any other reason other than it's what Perry and I believe is the choice that is right for me. I felt shaken, and I started questioning myself, "Am I really doing what I'm supposed to do? Am I really making a wise choice? Is this what God really wants me to do?" Though still confident in my decision, doubt still ensued. I emotionally vomited on at least three people this weekend. Nerves shot, I just wanted to embrace denial and turn up my country music and dream about being anywhere but here.

This morning as I got the kids ready, they were being extra sweet. Oh God, give me more of these days. I want more days of making my kids breakfast, helping them dress, tie shoes, more sweet conversations, listening to their beautiful voices. I want more. 

I arrived a little late for my appointment and had to wait a little bit before being taken back, which unfortunately gave my mind more time to wander. Thankfully, I had received some encouraging emails, I held on to those, and replayed some words spoken by Chantell the day before. I strongly dislike having to go to these appointments alone, no one's hand to hold, but it makes me hold on to Truth all the more.

My results came back relatively well. Adrenals are on the low side of normal, so I'll be taking Cortisol Control (I've stopped taking my adrenal support since my last visit weeks ago) and DHEA. Now, here comes the good part. My TPO Antibody is now at 41. It used to be way over 300, now it is 41. According to the lab she uses, under 35 and you're good; auto immune disease free! She said something to the extent, "Dare I say you're going into remission." She completely credits the diet and supplement changes to this. What encouragement this is for me! I needed a reminder, some sort of "proof" that this is the right way for me, that these changes are paying off. My endo had told me before I would forever have an auto immune disease and just better hope that I don't develop a second one- they found it unnecessary to even check my TPO Antibody anymore. This gives me so much hope for my healing in the cancer department. God knew I needed this.

As dependent and clingy as I was this morning to God I want to be every day of my life whether what's going on is good, bad, neutral. I want my focus to be so on Him as it was today, every day, for no other reason other than He is my God and my Savior and EVERYTHING to me! 

There's a song that really stands out to me especially in light of my health condition.
"Even if the healing doesn't come, and life falls apart, and dreams are still undone
You are God, You are good, forever faithful One
Even if the healing doesn't come" (Kutless, 'Even If')

That is how I want to be if I have a rough day or get bad news. It is so easy for me to praise Him now because I just received good news. But what if it wasn't good news, what would have my reaction been? I have to ask myself these things. To whom/where am I putting my trust? Who am I clinging to? I want to press into Him, no matter what is going on in my life. 

Today I am thankful for more than just good results from the doctor; thankful for new revelations that are increasing my growth in my relationship with God.

Last Weekend Before School

Last weekend before school starts back...Saturday morning, project at Home Depot, then Carter's birthday party at the lake. Sunday, Asher had Upstreet Konfidential as he is officially graduating from Waumba Land. And lastly, a picture of both my boys, their last Sunday in their 3rd grade/pre-k classes.

Fun at the Splash Pad!!

Today I took the kids to the $2 splash pad. We've only been once before, and that was last year. Honestly don't know why we don't go more often; it's good fun for cheap. The kids had a blast. They were only able to play in the water for about 20 minutes total. See, every time there's thunder, they have to turn the water off for 20 minutes. That's a wise choice. But, it's like as the 20 minutes was nearing an end, bam! there would be one more little thunder off in the distance and the 20 minutes would start all over again. Yeah, we were there for a couple hours before deciding may be we should just try again another day! But nonetheless, the kiddos had a good time and that's all the matters. We packed a lunch and ate on the grass. Even when the water wasn't going, they still ran around and had a good time. All in all, it was a good outting. :)

update on treatment

This past Wednesday, I saw my naturopathic doctor for the first time since finishing detox. I brought in my labs from May that I had done with endocrinologist. Though my endo was pleased with my results and did not change my dose of Nature-Throid, my naturopath seems to think my TSH level is a tad too low, and T3 a tad too high. The plan...I am to finish my Nature-Throid, and then I am started on Iodine. I'll take 1/2 a pill in the morning, an hour before eating, just like I do now. She also put me on Cere-Ven twice daily to help with the mental fog I've been having since my thyroid issues started. She took blood to check my adrenals and TPO anti-body. She will call me next week with the results. 

The plan is for next month to do another thyroid panel work up checking all my levels, plus my hormones - oh, and apparently there's more to check than LH and FSH (those were the only two my endo would check). And apparently there's more to the thyroid as well. Amazingly, it's cheaper to have all these labs done thru my naturopath than endo. It's official; I will no longer be seeing my endocrinologist. I'm sticking with my naturopath from here on out. Next month, we'll also be doing a deficiency test to see what my deficiencies are so that we can properly address them. She is also coming up with a "cock tail" diet specifically for me, with my health and thyroid issues. She also emphasized the need for me to eat "detoxing" foods. Since I've had cancer, I need to keep detoxing my body.

She stressed the importance that I do not need to be under any stress. I told her a little of what's been going on in my world and quite honestly, I feel like I've come under a bit of depression lately. She is an amazing woman and really encouraged me. We discussed other things, and she gave me some pointers. I walked away feeling empowered, confident. I always do when I leave there. Ya know, something she said to me a while back that I'll never forget is, she said we can do all these things and what not but that God is our ultimate healer. I love that. I appreciate her saying that and acknowledging that truth. 

Can't wait to update next month!!!:)

4th of July 2013

This 4th of July, Zeke's Cub Scout pack was in the parade again. It had been raining a lot lately and was supposed to rain that morning, but God blessed us and it did not rain. It was overcast and cool, perfect weather of a summer parade to me. :) Macie, Asher, and I went to the parade with my dear friend, Sheree, and her girls. After the parade, we all went out for lunch together. It was a nice, mellow day.